You make me sick...

I saw something this morning that turned my stomach. The very fabric of society is being stretched to its limits and abused in ways that would make our founding fathers roll over and puke in their graves.
I am talking of course about those morons put on spandex suits and ride 10 speeds 20 miles each way... for fun.
I don't believe I have ever seen a woman trekking down a highway in head to toe racing spandex, which means it is yet another thing that only men seem stupid enough to engage in as a hobby.
WHY??? Why must you do this? I'm pretty sure you aren't breaking any world records, you aren't Lance Armstrong, you really need to worry about air resistance? Guess what, me stepping on the gas and blowing past you at 75mph hugging that inside lines you keep crossing is going to screw up your perfect time.
Im going to start wearing spandex to mow my lawn for my best time. Yeah, how would you like that?! You wouldn't! Because spandex should be out-lawed and so should bikes!
Share the road... Roads are for automobiles! You ride on the sidewalk where I am less tempted to run over you, on account of the curb posing a threat to my tire and rim.


And why is there even professional bike racing??? 
What does this contribute to society???

NOTHING. That's what.


The only thing it does is give jobs to little Indonesian kids who make spandex suits. There is no point! If you want to bike a bike like a normal person, I support you in the fullest. But when the spandex comes out and you start shaving you legs, we're done. You are now worth 600 points. 1,000 bonus points if I get you AND your bike stuck in my grill for any period of time.


Well I feel better.