To protect you and your fellow passengers (as if!), the TSA is required by law to inspect all checked baggage (of persons who look like terrorists). As part of this process, some bags are opened and the physical content inspected (we smelled your underwear).
If the TSA pervert... we mean screener... was unable to open your bag for inspection because it was locked, the pervert... SCREENER may have been forced to break the locks on your bag. TSA "sincerely" regrets having to do this, however TSA is not liable for damage to your baggage and or locks.
We appreciate your understanding during this invasion, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.
For packing tips and suggestions on how to secure your baggage during your next trip please visit www.thereisnothingyoucando.com
Please feel free to contact us with questions and comments at www.wedontreallycare.com/seriouslygoscrewyourselves or by calling us at 555-555-5555
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