Post Twilight Depression

Disclaimer: I'm not an Anti-Twilight, so don't sharpen your vampire slaying stick and hide in the back seat of my car just yet. I have seen all of the movies thus far and will continue.

There is a new physiological disorder being documented, a unique form of depression effecting women (and gay men) ages 12-65. The disorder is called "Post Twilight Depression" (or clinically Post Obsessive Disillusioned Depression).

Have no fear, I am here to help you understand the disorder and make it through this thing!
(Stay with me here ;)

Here's a real life account of someone "suffering" from Post-Twilight Depression.

"It's like a drug,” writes Ally. “I have to read it or I break down crying. It’s awful. I don’t want to tell anyone about it. But I fear it’s unhealthy..." (fear substantiated) My husband finally came to me and said, ‘I think you love “Twilight” more than you love me. I ended up moving out of the house and fought for my marriage for six weeks and getting rid of all my Twilight dolls and posters. I had to take a step back and detox myself from ‘Twilight.’ I was really angry that I had allowed it to suck me in. Now I meet women every single day where ‘Twilight’ has become a major issue in their marriage.” ...........no words here.............

The disorder is described as: As result of the complex mixed feeling of wondering awe and devastating sadness when a person (female) finishes the last book of the Twilight saga to realize the series is over, the journey is at an end, life no longer has meaning.

Progression and Phases of Post Twilight Depression:

1. Disbelief / Isolation and withdraw
   The initial shock may cause the person to refuse to believe the series is over and withdraw from interactions with others to maintain distance from any situation or conversation that might force them to confront the truth... That they are a freak.
2. Anger
   Once the individual has gotten passed the initial disbelief and shock it is common to feel anger, either aimed at characters of the book, Stephanie Meyer the author, boy friend or spouse (unlikely) or those douche bags who speak against the series (Also known as an Anti's or one who is Anti-Twilight, how dare they!!!).
   One sixteen year old girl acted out against an Anti classmate, going all Victoria on her, attempting to slit her throat in Algebra. I hate math too, so I am going to pardon this one.
3. Bargaining
   Once the rage subsides the individual may begin to deal with the stress by attempting to bargain the pain away. The individual may attempt to contact the author to coax her into somehow continuing the series, suffering from the cognitive bias that leads them to believe they are somehow more special than other batcrap crazy fans and will make a difference. Or just resort to writing their own continued stories of Twilight... Totally normal.
4. Depression
   This is the dark state of depression where the individual will spend the most time, in a deeply numb, grief stricken, withdrawn, hopeless state of existence. (Nods head) Yep.
5. Acceptance
   Finally the individual will come to terms with the end of the Twilight series and realize
   ITS A FREAKIN BOOK ABOUT SPARELY VAMPIRES........... GET OVER IT!

Twilight Depression is a serious condition affecting as many as six women. If you think you might be suffering from Twilight Depression seek professional help from a qualified mental health professional... or a unqualified one... In fact yes, the less qualified the better!