Jury Duty...

Ah Jury Duty... No, not the movie, the actual letter in the mail.

I got a Jury Summons. Not just Jury Duty, but Jury Duty in a federal court! Now I know the whole civil duty, price of living in a country where we have the benefits of trial by peers looking to get even and some stuff and such, blah blah... at first I was like "Oh crap! Come on! Must get out of this..."

I started thinking of ways to get thrown out of Jury Duty. Maybe wear an empty gun holster into court and tell them my gun is in the car because I believe crime is caused by a lack of fire power! If every child in school had a gun they would all be so afraid of each other there wouldn't be any bullying or school shootings! (after the first week)

Plus I believe an alien robot name Xenu who lives in the sky is the only one who can judge we human's... with his friend the spaghetti monster of course and a giant lie detector. Those two can't go to the bathroom without each other! (They so crazy!) What do you mean thats an actual religion, I just made that up! Seriously??? Tom Cruise goes to that church? Ok, whatever.

Then I got reading this jury summons.

Federal Court? That sounds like something awesome happened! Plus I get 4 days off work??? AND I get paid $40 a day in addition to my paid time off??? AND FREE LUNCH?!!!?!?!?!

BRENT AUGUSTUS REPORTING FOR JURY DUTY YOUR HIGHNESS!

Seriously, why are people trying to get out of this? Plus it's very likely I may need a Jury someday, I don't need that kind of karma waiting around!

Suggestions people have had for me should I want to get out of Jury Duty:

1. Rant about gun rights and make racist comments about the lawyers (especially if they are white!).
2. Wear pajama's.
3. Talk to the voices and consult them before answering questions.
4. Tell them you are Mormon... just sayin.
5. Fake a seizure.
6. Take a copy of the Koran to read.
7. Wear that shirt to court! (It was a Kurt Cobain shirt! Leave Kurt out of this!)

Maybe the trial will be against Courtney Love for killing Kurt Cobain! FINALLY! JUSTICE!

Stay Tuned... More to come...