CTU Education...

A few things I am sure about after seeing this ad... 1 - This is probably not how Jack Bauer got his start. 2 - The government probably isn't recruiting using ads on facebook. 3 - Spies probably don't drive camo Lamborghini... That might actually draw MORE attention.

Craigslist...

I saw a post on Craigslist... a Help-Wanted if you will...
SNOW REMOVAL TECHNICIAN

I thought, wait... better read that again... SNOW... REMOVAL... (makes sense) TECHNICIAN... Nope! Im lost. One of these words is wrongly used... but which one, and what word did they mean to use...

Let's get the definition of TECHNICIAN, shall we? We shall!
"A technician is a worker in a field of technology who is proficient in the relevant skills and techniques, with a relatively practical understanding of the theoretical principles."

Let's see... drive truck into piles of snow and push the snow around to make bigger piles of snow, without spilling your beer. Nope couldn't be the word technician that's out of place here!

SNOW... starts with S, has four letters, maybe that's it!
POOP REMOVAL TECHNICIAN! Yes! Now that I will buy!

A funny thing happened...

Before certain people go judging me... rightfully or unjustly really doesn't even matter anymore!
Once is an isolated occurrence, Twice is a coincidence, Thrice is a pattern, Four times is a sequence, Five times is a principle... I think at this point we can just agree that the common denominator is just a given - and  we can call my frequency of run-in's with psychotic drivers an inexplicable force of attraction.

How many times has this happened to you?
You are driving along, a little over the speed limit, and a semi truck comes barreling up behind you and rides your tail, because they don't want to slow down? Everyone? Ok... Now how many times has the truck driver got out of the truck yelling curse words at you telling you to get out of your car? Am I really the only one? 5 times, and counting. That's right.

To paint the picture, there I was, speeding, breaking the law (almost 5 over), on 30 on my way toward Columbia City, in the left-hand lane (which is not illegal in the State of Indiana as far as I have been able to find - it is a valid lane of travel - http://www.in.gov/bmv/files/Drivers_Manual_Chapter_5.pdf), when this truck comes flying up behind me.

I watch him, as the traffic to my right isn't very speedy and I don't want to join them until I am at the front of the pack and maybe not even then... The truck got so close I couldn't see his bumper or plate... In the state of Indiana at 70 miles per hour you have to stay 3 second (or 325 feet behind the next vehicle in front of you (see the above BMV link...), according to the USDOT-CDL that distance goes up for every 20,000lbs you are hauling. I punctuated this by releasing my cruise control with a quick little tap of the breaks... What???! If the vehicle behind you is traveling a safe distance the safety issue is null and void. . . He had a different opinion, which he expressed at the top of his lungs as he jumped out of his truck at the next stop light. While he did so, I took out a notepad and started writing down all of the numbers I could see on his truck.
I call the company and was met by someone claiming to be the supervisor. I explained the situation and figured he would do nothing. Imagine my surprise when hours later I got a phone call from ... THE TRUCKER! That's right, they gave him my cell phone. AND the supervisor was listening quietly while truck driver explained his side, which I listened to... His side was as follows. "You and other jerks like you are breaking the law by not getting out of the way of trucks that can kill you." I replied by asking if he was "aware that the vehicle behind is incumbent to allow safe distance between vehicles, and that invalidated his argument." After his stuttering reply I asked him how this gave him the right to jump from the truck and loose it, what made him so angry to justify his behavior?
"I am mad... for... YOUR LIFE Sir!"
The supervisor then swept the argument by jumping in saying that he would tell all of his truck drivers when Indiana if a black Sebring ever doesn't get out of their way, they have his permission to run the bastard over."
Touche.
Moments after hanging up on these fine human beings, I realized I now had the truck drivers cell phone! 724-977-7798 in case you are wondering... I have called half a dozen times already and said things like "I am mad for your life." and "Keep on truckin!"
I think I have a new favorite pass-time, stress relief for when I have a bad day...
Feel free to jot that number down, it is ever so much fun!
Cheers :)